The Heart Attack/Transcript

(Open Int. Night club)

Ash: You know, as of adulthood, (silence) I get a cookie. I can take 3 cookies, 4 cookies, (silence, crowd laughs) or 11 cookies, if I want. We pay another bill, and completely, drag it to an arcade game. It then takes out, then I say, "Hey, 20 dollars?" The ATM, yeah. Teenagers watched me trying to put in the bill. For the most cookies owned, I ruin my entire appetite. Ruin it! Wowza! Then I call out to somebody and say "Oh, hello, mom! Did I refuse to get my appetite to work on my life? Cookies!" Refusing on something is whatever it takes to what I want. (fade to black)

(Trans Int. House)

(Atomic sound is heard)

Girl: Oh, look, Steven Universe. Up in the skies. The planet's on fire! The planets of our solar system, incinerating, through the days and years! Like flaming globes, Steven! Like flaming globes! Ah, ha ha ha ha ha HA!

In his room, Ash writes down note during bedtime.

(Trans Int. Elmer's Glue Restaurant)

Waiter/Woman: Coffee?

Ash: Thanks.

Pearl: (silence) What do you got, a cucumber?

Bali: Yeah.

Pearl: You're bringing an outside cucumber?

Bali: Because I eat salads like that. Yes!

Ash: I brought a note.

Pearl: Please read it.

Ash: (looking at the note) (crowd laughs) What is this? I could have my best lague. Ful-hel-mon-nen-ter-val. What does that even mean?

Sofia: (laughter)

Ash: Fax me some halibut. Is that even funny? (crowd laughs)

Pearl: Don't-mess-with-Johnny.

Ash: Johnny? Who's Johnny? Johnny Carson? Did I insult him on The Tonight Show?

Pearl: (joking) Did you mess with Johnny, Ash?

Bali: Put that thing down?

Pearl: Ash? Are you crazy?

Bali: I think I'm having a heart attack. (crowd laughs)

Pearl: What I was thinking, is that he's having a heart attack. Where's Zak and Wheezie?

Ash: I don't know.That's like asking "Where's Waldo".

Bali: Oh! Yes! Aw! Waves of burn.

Ash: Well, I know what it is, you saw that show on PBS last night, "Coronary Country". (to Pearl) I saw it on the TV Guide, and Pearl saw it on the Blue Ridge cable on someone's house. Here, here. Want me to take you to the hospital?

Bali: Oh.

Pearl: (scoffs) He's so funny.

(Trans Int. Elmer's Glue Ambulance)

Bali is in the bed.

Bali: I need Kikou. He sleeps with me. I do have a heart attack.

Ash: Bali, you look sleepy.

Bali: This is no worries about Kikou.

Ash: Want me go and get a Super Why! plush?

Bali: No...

(Ash leaves)

Bali: (sick voice) Not fair. This.... Stuff.... I...... Need.......

Ash: So what do you think of that?

Nurse 1: Salami salami bologna. Definitely.

Ash: (silence) Salami salami bologna?

Nurse 2: Your son is okay. Please go check on her.

Ash: Okay.

(crowd laughs)

Bali: Oh!

Pearl: I'm real mistaken.

Ash: Want a cocktail?

Bali: No.